Out of the Mouths of LASIK Surgeons and Co-Managing ODs

These are comments that refractive surgery patients are hearing from their "doctors".  It's no wonder patients are angry and frustrated, and that LASIK litigation is a rising tide.

"Are you constantly comparing both eyes?"

"We don't treat pain."

"From a pure visual acuity stand point, your results are outstanding".

"My recommendation is to give it time as many of these symptoms may resolve".

"You can read 1 letter on the 20/20 line and guess 2 others, that means you're 20/20"

"Remember, you SAID you had halo's BEFORE surgery!"

"I told you that this was ELECTIVE surgery, there's no medical reason to have had it, after all, glasses and contacts have worked perfectly for years...."

"Yes, you still need glasses AFTER LASIK, but now they are much thinner, and more stylish...."

"Of course, you KNOW you had SUPER-HUMAN vision before LASIK with your glasses. There's no way LASIK can duplicate THAT......"

"That MUST have been a condition you had BEFORE LASIK. You just never noticed that you had it!"

"You're the first patient I've had out of the 5,000 I've done that's had ANY problems at all!"

"You're just going to have to drive carefully. You know, there are a lot of one-eyed drivers out there."

"Well, those are the breaks."

"Don't ever let anyone else ever touch your eyes again!"

"I'm sorry I can't help you!"

"What exactly do you want me to do for you?"

"I don't have any magic for you. It's not like we can grab a pencil and erase the scars"

Surgeon, frowning over a 20/50 refraction: "I know I CALCULATED it for 20/20."

"Are you always this emotional?"

"We have no idea what your vision will be 1 year post-op."

"If I looked up complication in the dictionary, your name would be there."

"Headaches? You should see a neurologist."

"It's like I tell my kids, focus on what you can do (SEE), not what you can't."

"Only second to you, did I want your surgery to be a success!"

"We just need a tincture of time."

"We will have to wait for technology to catch up with YOUR problems."

"We have had only one other patient with your complications."

"We have improved our standards of care since your surgery. Oh! We have TWO new lasers now, would you like to SEE them?"

"Just look at the things that you can focus on."

"You're really doing great considering what you've been through."

"So, are you glad you had LASIK?" (After losing vision in one eye)

"You're just very visually aware".

"I like second opinions. Not that it's a matter of ego, but they just confirm what I already know."

"Things might have turned out a lot differently for you if I'd lifted the flap and irrigated.....(he added some other things he could have tried)....Bummer, huh?"

"I feel sorry for you"

"If you wait a few years there will be other options for you"

"We can do more RK surgery" (like I need any more incisions cut into my corneas)

"This is the best we can do for you"

"Too bad you didn't wait for LASIK"

"You and I are seeing each other so much, we might as well be married."

"We've run out of options with you contact lenses"

"Your eyes is great, I dont know why you are saying that you can not see well"

"Go home and enjoy your vision- don't come to my clinic again-everything is ok with you"

"Wait a year or two....we will have a good option for reducing double images and GASH"

"That's what you are saying, that you can not drive at night.....I am not sure it is true"

"I had to quit RK, because previous patients kept bringing lawyers with them for checkups."

"I wouldn't go to him for a second opinion, I wouldn't let him operate on my dog".

After my A/K enhancement, which was promised to solve my problems......... "Sure HOPE that does it for ya"!

"My policy is no refunds. We get it right no matter how many surgeries it takes!!! Eventually, something will work!"

"I don't know why you are unhappy - I have patients with 5 diopters of astigmatism."

"A blind man would kill you for your vision."

"As you grow older your pupil will shrink and you won't notice the scars".

"You were -9 and -10 diopters. Now you don't have to wear contacts... you've got to look at the total picture..."

"Well you weren't expecting to see that great........were you?"

"YOU'RE the one who signed the consent form."

"Just try not to notice the ghosts."

"Your brain just has to get used to seeing this way."

"Just drive around with your dome light on or have someone else drive."

"I just advised a guy with pupils your size to not have Lasik based on your experience."

"At your age you would have developed dry eyes anyway."

"Sometimes we can't get all the epithelial ingrowth out." (First time I'd heard that one.)

"Your left flap looks great; not sure why you think you're having dim light, night time/ starbursting problems. I don't see anything."

Me: What is happening to me? Why are the starbursts getting larger?
Surgeon: Give it time, you're "micro-healing".

"I don't feel sorry for you. I have many, many patients who are far worse off than you."

"Car manufacturers seem to be making headlights brighter these days. We have alot of patients complaining about that. They think it has something to do with the surgery, but it's the headlights."

"What I ASKED you to do was to say if you like 'one' or 'two' better! All you have to do is SAY 'one,' or 'two'!
Those are the ONLY right answers! Anything else is JUST WASTING TIME!"

"Now you told me earlier the glasses over that contact seemed better. You're not telling me the truth now!"

'There is no way the laser caused your floaters. Everybody has them they just don't know it. As a matter of fact, I know of this older gentleman who happens to be a trap shooter and, well it's quite funny, his grandchildren makes fun of him when he shoots at imaginary targets, ha ha ha ha'

"Your visual needs must be very high."

"I'm so sorry. This is not what we like to see after LASIK. Your eye must scare the heck out of LASIK surgeons."

"Be glad you're not blind"

"Hang in there."

"You SHOULD be able to see this!!"